On a new health kick. This morning for breakfast I had 3 pieces of turkey bacon, one piece of whole wheat toast, the whites of a hard boiled egg, and orange juice. Almonds and grapes are the only snacks I’ll allow myself to eat, with the exception of occasional frozen yogurt. I’m working out every day too. Wish me luck y’all!

I write songs, but I don’t sing…. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with that?

I hate this. I have no friends because I’m a loser.

You said I look like a whale, that’s how fat I am. You KNOW that I am the most insecure person in this world. You literally had me sitting on my floor crying for an hour because I now feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. You know that I had eating disorders, and now after calling me a whale I know you’re pushing me to go through it again. The messed up part is, I apologized for our fight eight months ago. I moved on and I was willing to forgive you, but you never did your part and apologized to me so we never became friends. I haven’t spoken to you so I don’t know why you would want me to feel like this. But now you’re going and telling my friend that you think you’re fat? HOW DO YOU THINK YOU MADE ME FEEL? Goodness.

because it matches my personality exactly. I think it’s so creepy but amazing at the same time.

It’s times like these where I wish my life was a reality show.

I was supposed to go home 2 fucking days ago, but my dad was too lazy to take me. Then yesterday he said he “didn’t know” I wanted to go home. Now he “doesn’t feel good”. I’m sick of sitting in this damn house and doing absolutely nothing. I hate my sister, my dad is pissing me off, and I want to go home. I didn’t know it was too much to ask for.

I don’t get why people have to be so mean. It’s sad when you would actually go out of your way just to make someone else unhappy. Why be that kind of person? Do you really hate yourself so much that it makes you happy to see others miserable like you are? If you have nothing nice to say, keep your damn mouth shut. I’m positive that you’d feel terrible if you hurt someone so bad that they would try to kill themselves. I know I’d be ashamed of myself.

And it couldn’t have been better :) didn’t do much but watch Talladega Nights but that’s alright with me! Sooo happy right now

If that ain’t a dedicated girlfriend, then I don’t know what is.

I feel like no matter how much weight I lose, I’ll never be good enough.

Yes, Andrew and I argue over silly little stupid things. But that in no way, shape, or form means that we ain’t happy with each other! There’s only been one time that we’ve gone to bed mad at each other, and that was actually over somethin serious. Other than that one time, we always work things out pretty much within like 15 mintues. Less time if we’re actually togethter, because then I can kiss him and he’s fine. Our relationship is different. Sure, we get on each other’s nerves but at the same time, I’d do anything for him. And I’m sure he would say the same thing about me. The bottom line is relationships aren’t just about all the cute happy times, relationships are about bein strong and bein able to get through things together.

YOU are the reason that I can’t trust any guy I date. The way you used to hold me, look into my eyes and say “Baby I’m never going to hurt you. I love you.” That was all a lie. Half the time we were going out you cheated on me with some fat Snooki wanna-be and then would lie straight to my face and say you weren’t ever gonna let me go. I was genuinely happy when I was with you, until I realized the guy you really were. For weeks, my life was a living hell because I had to explain to everyone why we broke up then I was told time and time again “Oh, that’s probably because she was easier than you. He’s like that.” It took a while for me, but I eventually got over it. Then you came back into my life and made it seem like this time you were ready for a real relationship. I opened my heart to you again, and you left me in the dirt for another whore. Thinking back now I probably should have seen it coming, but at the time it hurt me real bad. Then you vanished from my life again…. Until several weeks ago when you cheated on your girlfriend with me. That was my fault, I shouldn’t have let you kiss me. Actually, I should have slapped you when you tried. But all this time, you wonder why I’m so mad at you. Well, let me tell you why. It’s because any time I’m happy with another guy, I think of how I thought I was happy with you and it makes me feel like it’s a lie, so I leave them. There’s so many good guys I could have lasted longer with, but I felt like it was all a lie because of YOU. I have a boyfriend now, and he’s better than I could ever even imagine. But when he looks at me and says he’ll never leave I think of how you said the same thing and no matter how much he tries to convince me I can’t believe it. So you just go on with your life and act like you did nothing wrong, that’s fine. I’ll try to work with these trust problems. But don’t you dare go on and ask me again “What’s wrong? Why are you so mad at me?”.

It was exactly a year ago today, I remember because it was the exact day that Ryan Dunn passed away. I used to have two best friends, Diana and Savannah. The 3 of us used to be as close as could be, but then Savannah would start fights with Diana and it opened my eyes as to who she really was. Di is the type of person who won’t stick up for herself and when she gets yelled at, she kinda backs away. Savannah would feed off of that and it would make her meaner, I guess she felt like she had “power” over Diana. When Savannah was bored, she would start fights with Diana over stupid things. So it was after school and I was over Savannah’s house, I guess she got bored so she decided to start a fight over Facebook with Diana. If I remember correctly, it was about a guy that Diana had dated that currently had a crush on Savannah. Savannah told Diana that she was prettier than her and how no one will ever like her because she’s ugly. I sat there, I didn’t even know what to say to Savannah but I knew it was getting out of hand. That’s when Savannah said to Diana “What’s the point of you even being alive anymore? No one likes you. No one cares about you. No body wants you to be here. If I could, I would’ve switched places with you and Ryan Dunn that way YOU were the one to die in a firey car accident.” That very moment was when mine and Savannah’s friendship really ended. Diana was crushed, and to this day she thinks no one wants her here. I hope Savannah is proud of what she’s done to this poor girl. Diana, I know you won’t see this but it’s okay because I’ve told you this a million times. But I want you here, I need you here. You’re my best friend and I love you.